Not So Great Times

Alright, lets sum some stuff up. Working at a studio, offered a job, was offered 1k less a month then what it would take to actually move to place. Informed boss need more money and that they were attempting to pay me 1,100 less then indistry standard for starting animators. They budget and were able to offer me 350 more...which I then explained to them is still not enough and that they know what I need and if I can't get it I have to quite by the end of March cause I won't have a place to stay or money to afford a place...they just said they'll have to figure out what they can do....ugh..

My phone died today because I can't find my charger. I packed it when I left my cousins (both me and my brother remember that) and now I can't find it anywhere.

Now for what this entry is really about. Late sunday night my grandfather was struggling and passed away after over 92 amazing years of life. His name was Floyd Durham and he was best known for building his own small airport. He is actually in the Delaware Aviation Hall of Fame for his contributions. His life has always been an insperation to me and is actually the reason I believed I could actually start an animation studio. These last two days have been really long and I've had to make sure I'm contastantly doing something so that I don't think about it and can keep helping my family deal with it.

Alright, that felt good to get off my chest, but now I've got work to do for a job that i might not have next wensday...fun...

Why not all good news?

So I started my internship last week(did I mention I got an animatoin internship...). Anyway, it's awesome! I spent my first 5 days texturing guns and faces so they look real. Now they want me to learn vue so I can make 3D worlds for the textured things to run around in. And get this, they paid me at the end of the week...I got paid to do stuff I love, thats awesome! Yay happy end of the story!

But, not all good news here. I had a pretty good living situation going on, cost more then I wanted for a one month room for rent, but hey, it was close to work and I got a whole room. But, then the owner of the house turned out to be extremely...friendly...In other words he kept saying extremely weird things, talking about random sexual things and to top it off would stand close enough that if I moved at all Id touch him, and on a few occasions did. I'm leaving out some details cause I don't want to go into it, but to make a long story short, things got really creepy and I had to move out. Now I'm going to be moving in with my cousin, which is further away and she has 2 kids (another on the way) so it's going to be complicated in a new way, but by goly if it doesn't get creepy I'll be happy.

Alright, don't expect any entries any time soon, wont have internet sept at work and doubt I'll write anything at work.

Animator

DUDE! I TOTALLY SPENT SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS COLORING A 3D MODEL TODAY! AND I CAN CALL IT A JOB!! A JOB!!!!!

But seriously, I had a great day with great people doing great things and besides the 3 hours in a day to do it, it was perfect. Now all I need to do is get offically hired so I can get paid and pay for living and what not!

Also, I'm going to be moving to washington DC for a week (and hopefully a month) so thats going to be interesting. And hopefully my canadian roommates will be nice! Their a writer and a film maker. And my other roommate is a lawyer, but he wont be there much. Hopefully in a month I'll get my own place and everyone will visit me...cause they love me.

A Chris Devided.

Alright, so heres my current dilemma. I'm sick of my current job. I came home and cried last Friday as a result of some of the bastard things I had to do, and thats just not healthy. I also haven't gotten a good sleep in two weeks and apparently it's showing. Everyone thinks I look depressed and my eyes were blood shot this afternoon. So I decided I'm going to go down to my employment agency and ask for a new job to work. Then it hit me, If I do that I have to give my current job two weeks notice or they can put my remaining pay checks down to minimum wage. I honestly need as much money as possible so thats not a good plan. But then that means I'd have to be at my job for three more weeks, which ain't a good plan either. Besides that, I'd just get another crappy job I hate. Maybe not as emotionally damaging, but still would hate.
So why not quit and spend the 3 weeks job hunting for animation jobs? Well that plan doesn't work because if I don't find the job, and in this economy I wont, I'm jobless and my chances of living my dreams dies because money will quickly fade in gas.
So I don't know what the logical choice is. Do I keep working this job till I find an animation job, quit and hope for luck or start a new crappy job? None of these answers seems right. From an emotional level just quiting and job hunting sounds smartest...but I can't think like that. I have to have logic till my goals are accomplished....right?...ugh...
Alright, thats enough depressed rambling for now.

Moral of this story, if people tell you that you look like crap without a second though, you know your doing something wrong.

PJ Day

So I woke up this morning at 9:30...ok well I woke up at 7, then 8:15, then 8:45 then 9:30...stupid new job throwing off my lazy biological clock. I miss staying up till 3 and sleeping till 10...ok thats off topic so ignore it!

So I woke up at 9:30, ate breakfast then animated and watched How I Met your Mother till 3:30! Then I played Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap from 3:30 till 8:30 (with how I met your mother on in the background. All of this was done while never changing from my PAJAMAS. And it hit me, this is exactly what I want to do with my life. I want to animate all morning and game all night. And whenever possible I want to not change out of my PAJAMAS. So theres the dream, now to accomplish it.

On a more real note, my new job was going well until they revealed to me that I have to give evil people waivers cause they complain and I can't give nice people in real trouble extensions if they are late...even if there late because of the real troubles! (I work in collections if I haven't said that already) Suddenly I'm a evil corprate bastard and I hate myself. To top that off my Grand Aunt (is that what you call a grandfathers sister) died, which means nothing to me cause I didn't know her, but is destroying my grandfather. He's questioning his mortality and emotional and had to go to the hospital cause it affected his heart. Thank god he's fine now, but still, I love my grandfather and have nothing but respect for the man. He's inspired me to be the person I am today so seeing this happen to him is killing me.

Thank god I was able to have a pajama day and just not worry about those things for awhile.

Job or Career

So I had been happy with my new job with Honda for the last two weeks until today. I was planning to go out to get drinks with new co-workers, who frankly I don't really like, because I thought I should be social. Then my trainer came up to me and was like "your going out to party with the guys? Don't do it they corrupt you." At first I thought she kidding but she revealed to me that she wasn't and that she actually thought I had great potentional. She started saying something about being able to make this job into a solid career. Saying how it took her two years to get a job from being a temp and has a evolving career for fourteen years. She saw the same potential in me.

Then I call my mom about it kinda weirded out, when she mentions she dropped of some info to my temp agency cause they had faxed it to her house and I'm always working when their open. The owner who interviewed me aparantly wouldn't stop talking about how amazing I was and the potential I had. Mom thought she was just being kind to a parent, but after trying to leave a few times and being brought back into the conversation about me she realized I did have some effect on her. And what topped it was the owner's son just got a job at the same place as me and the interview said, and my mom quotes, "I hope my son has the same energy your son does."

Now to top off this cake of confusion, when I worked at radioshack my boss relied heavily on me even though hated her and she wasn't to found of me. She did not respect me as a person, but she recognized that I was a good worker and when I quite she said she wished I wouldn't go because I was the only employie that she could count on to get things done around there. Then one of my ex-co-workers who had become a manager while I was working there was surprised I left and so was my one friend whos a overly exsperienced 44 year old. I asked both why and they both thought I was gonna take my radioshack career to a management level.

So now I'm confused. Why does everyone think I'm out to make every job a career? Why does everyone keep thinking I'm some super go getting person who can make any job a career? In my dream world I would animate by day, game by night and have amazing adventures. And some how all my bills would be paid and I wouldn't to worry about money cause it would magically appear (I'm guessing I'd have to marry a super rich lady for that last part...but thats neither here nor there). At no point has any of these jobs been a career to me. I don't honestly even want animation to be my career, I just want to do it cause I love it. But, I do have to make money some how and I can't imagine a better way to make money then to do one of the things I love most in the world. Only other method would be to play videa games all day and get paid (and no I don't mean a game tester, I mean just get paid to play games as much as I see fit).

I don't know, I guess all and all I'm just confused about this X factor so many people seem to be seeing in me recently.